What is it about Jesse that when he shows up at my office door my day just doesn't seem quite so bad? :)

Thanksgiving Trip

Thanksgiving has been one of my favorite holidays for being able to relax, spend time with family, and appreciate what I have. Since I moved to VA five years ago, I haven't made it home for Thanksgiving. I have never lacked friends with whom I can share a traditional meal and the afternoon for each of the past five years. Each of those Thanksgiving holidays was very enjoyable and helped me to appreciate blessings, but it has never felt the same as going home.

I won't go so far as to say that Thanksgiving with Jesse's family was just like going home. I still missed my family--parents, sisters, brother, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins. (I heard there were at least a total of 23 gathered for this year's Thanksgiving meal.) But spending Thanksgiving "weekend" in PA was closer to the family Thanksgiving I grew up knowing than what I've been able to experience for the last few years. I got so far away that I wasn't able to end up spending part of the day or weekend working in the library. I had time to relax, play family games, and appreciate the blessings of life.

Picking up Jeremiah around 9:15, we made it to his parents' home near 3:00. Shortly, we headed off from there to have the Thanksgiving meal with one other family, his aunt's. Jesse had made up a apple crisp to contribute to dessert. In some ways, I felt like a bum--arriving without any food and not part of the family, but no one made me feel like an outsider.

In the evening, four of us (Jesse, David, their dad, and myself) sat down to a game of Boggle and later three of us (their dad headed to bed) played their version of Scrabble. It had been a while since I've played Boggle, I discovered I've picked up the tendency to write down questionable letter combinations--those that might be words, but don't even know for sure myself. I tried to keep this rather annoying (at least for other players) tendency to a minimum, but will have to work on that some more. Scrabble has never been a game that I've been particularly fond of, but I think I could like it better if I played it a bit more. The way they play the game was very different from the way I've ever played it, but in some ways, I found it more fun. By the last round or two, I was beginning to really get into the game and even won a round.

Friday morning was, for me, very relaxing. Margaret was sleeping after having worked her night shift. The guys were all outside splitting wood. Jeremiah, Jesse's mom, and myself hung around the house, doing a little clean-up, and talking. Jeremiah did go out for a few minutes to hang out with the guys and ride the "tractor" (riding lawn mower pulling a wagon) which he decided was too loud.

The afternoon seemed even shorter, as we watched a movie and Jesse and I made a trip to visit with one of his website clients in the area. The evening arrived and Margaret was able to join us for a game of SolarQuest. Somewhat similar to Monopoly, which I've never liked exceedingly well. I was very soundly beaten.

Saturday morning went quickly too as we packed, visited for the final time, and prepared to leave. Stop at the library and the bank where Jesse used to work were made on the way out of town. Traffic slowed us down a bit on the return south, so that we were later than intended in getting Jeremiah home. We did end up staying for a bit for a meal of Thanksgiving leftovers that was good.

Of course, there is so much that happens that doesn't fit well into a stark recitation of events--the teasing, tickling, and playing between Jeremiah and his aunt, uncle, and dad; the conversations and discussions that take place casually and continually; the work-outs and work; petting and playing with the dogs; learning "magic" tricks; and just experiencing family life.

How can I thank the McConnell's for making me a part of their family life, even if just for a couple of days?

Little Surprises

I think I've been surprised more times in the last three months than I probably am in most years. I've lost count of the times I've walked into my office or out to my car or arrived home to find some little note or card, sometimes even with flowers, waiting just for me from Jesse. And somehow, he manages to do it when I least expect it or when I most need the encouragement.

The Story: Not Yet

I have to say that through the spring, after Jesse had moved back to the area, I was pretty much oblivious to anything that might be happening in our relationship. In my defense, by January, I had been single-handedly managing a library for nearly 300 students for four months with no full-time help in sight. I was literally more than 2 months behind on everything I was supposed to do and getting farther behind by the day. Jesse spending his time on weekends or evenings helping with various projects in the library is probably the only way he could have gotten any notice from me at all. As it was, I very much appreciated the help, but didn't give the time to any deeper consideration.

The thing that came closest to knocking me out of my obsession with work (and should've been a huge sign) was the gift he gave me for my birthday--it was personalized with my name. As my name has yet to be found in a book of baby names, you know that something personalized was not bought off-the-shelf with only a moment's thought. As close as that gift came to waking me up, I still buried my head back under my work and managed to slip back into my oblivion. It was another four months before I really began to emerge from my hibernation.

Continue: The Story: Going On?

The Story: But First A Little Detour

The Detour:
Like Charlessa said, our families got together this Sunday, but I must be wired a bit differently because I didn't start worrying until an hour or two before. And then, I worried! And what does the wise friend mean?! This is NOT just like meeting some other person that I don't know! I've met her parents on our Ireland trip, but that was before I started dating their eldest daughter! Toss in that I was just meeting her brother and youngest sister for the first time and that this was the first time any of our parents have ever even talked with each other! I was a nervous wreck on the drive over. It turned out really well though, thank the Lord!

And now, back to our regularly scheduled program:
Previously, I probably glossed over the years that I spent driving down here to see Jeremiah. While I never had any specific plans about Charlessa, the thought that maybe something would start between us, would periodically go caroming through my mind. And looking back, I did seem to come up with excuses to see Charlessa pretty often. She was working without any help in the library, so of course I would offer to help her move books or sort magazines or box ILLs. I would have a free evening and want to do something, so I'd call her up and see if she knew of any plays or anything going on. Of course, every time was totally reasonable and sensible to me! I preferred to work all night with her than go read at Borders. And for me, THAT'S love!

Hindsight is usually pretty close to 20/20, and I can recognize now that I was starting to view Charlessa as a bit more than a friend. Maybe not romantically, (I viciously squashed any thoughts that way) but, well, I'm not sure how to describe it. Definitely one of my best friends, but that still falls short. Maybe it was the potential of being more that made the friendship different. Hmmm. Oh well. If I come up with some better way to describe it, I'll try to get it down on electrons.

Things were very good. Then the job down here in Virginia popped up, and things became even more so!

I had tried a couple times to get a job in VA, but nothing seemed to come together. Then, around October 2004, I really started feeling that I should make another try. I talked it over with the folks but never did anything serious about it. Then in the beginning of December, I was walking into the Library to help Charlessa with ILLs and saw a little job posting on the wall for a research assistant in Purcellville. I stuck it in my pocket and left a message Sunday afternoon. Thankfully I "happened" to have a three-day weekend, so when they called me on Monday and asked me to come in right then for an interview, I was able to literally stop by the Salvation Army to buy a shirt and tie on the way to he interview. They called me back Thursday to say I was hired! Housing fell into place, and I moved down here on Jan 1st, just like that!

Wonderful! I'm now down here only a couple miles from Charlessa, we're good friends, we're doing activities and going to church together, and our relationship is going to take right off, right?! Well, it didn't quite work out that quickly. We still had a bit to go.

Continue: The Story: Not Yet

Family Meeting

Sunday evening, my parents, my brother SC and my sister L were able to meet Jesse, his mom, and his sister Margaret. They all came over to my place after Awana. There was hot tea, visiting, Uno, ice cream, and chili. It was the first time parents had met.

I found it interesting that, despite being 1,000+ miles apart, it happened without any real planning with that goal in mind. My parents had a wedding in KY on Saturday and decided they'd come on out to see me. They told me that they'd arrive Sunday or Monday. This was the weekend Margaret could get some time off her job and Jesse's mother could come down to sell their dogs.

It was about a week before they arrived that my parents told me for sure that they would be coming in on Sunday and Jesse was sure that his family wouldn't be leaving until Monday. It was only at that point that the possibility of a meeting was explored and planned.

And, in typical fashion, I thought about it and worried about it much more than necessary, until a wise friend reminded me, "It's the same as meeting any one else you've never met before."

The Story: Friends

As Jesse has so accurately described, while he was living in Virginia for the first time (~20 months), we were "just friends" and largely got to know each other through the group activities that were arranged by various people at work. As I was with Jesse when he first met his girlfriend of that time, I had my own friendship with her and served as listening ear to each at various times.

On Jesse's last day in the area, I took the time to go over and help with the final re-painting and packing. It was my way of saying good-by to a friend I knew I might never hear from or see again. It wasn't an emotional good-by. I don't remember for sure, but, when the work was done, I may have simply walked away while Jesse was talking with another friend.

I also am terrible at keeping up with friends once they leave my area. (That's part of the reason I love blogs, but that could be it's own rambling post.) I always start out with good intention, but with rare exception, the e-mails and phone calls become less frequent, shorter, and eventually stop. So, as Jesse has already stated, looking back, it was something of a miracle that we did stay in touch. I managed to remember to answer e-mails and just generally tried to keep him informed of people and events in the area for his weekend trips back down to northern Virginia.

A few times during his visits in Virginia, I was surprised at the events he chose to make it to. I would wonder, "Is he really that interested in the event? That desperate for something to do? Or is he just doing this to see me?" But as I was comfortable with "just friends," I refused to read anything more into it. Addtionally, I was so overwhelmed and stressed at work, I had no time to give it any further thought or consideration.

Even as Jesse moved back into the area in January 2005, I was still very stressed at work. I was simply happy for Jesse that he wouldn't have to make the long drives between PA and VA as often and would get to spend more time with Jeremiah.

Continue: The Story: But First a little Detour

Me and my memory

I'd love to say that I remembered meeting Charlessa and was just as stunned then as I am now, but unfortunately I can't. In my defense I had just moved down here from PA and college and was in the process of meeting the 70 some odd people at HSLDA as well as some of the PHC people and learning which people were in charge of what and all that jazz. Sigh.

But we did run into each other fairly frequently and got to know each other through the activities that happened pretty frequently. (I'd like to make a big thanks to Joli for setting up so many of those!) There were swing dance lessons, plays, ice skating, ballroom dance lessons, student activities, hymn sings, clogging, basketball, rappelling trips, and volleyball. It's sort of rough getting introverts to go out and do things, but I guess we still managed.

But that was about all. Most all the activities were in groups and while we got to be friends, we were still "just friends". (Hence this blog title! I'll bet you never guessed that!) I even dated during this time (didn't work out, but I did get Jeremiah!) and finally moved back up to PA. Now here's where the weird part starts!

I'm a very serious introvert as is Charlessa, and when I moved down to VA, some people never realized it for a year. Ditto for when I moved back up to PA. I would be back down around PHC every long once and a while, and some of the students never realized I left for almost two years! I've never been good at keeping touch with old friends either. But Charlessa turned out differently!

She had come over the day that I was packing up. I was re-painting the apartment before I left, and she helped me out. She had also been a friendly ear, above and beyond my other friends at the time, so after I moved back up to PA, I sent her an email saying thanks and how are things down there where it's nice and warm. Then for almost two and a half years, we exchanged emails every couple of weeks, and I would stop by the college to say hello.

Looking back, it was probably a genuine, God-performed miracle that kept us in contact. You'd have to know how horrible I am at keeping in touch with people, to realize the full magnitude of the miracle, but God kept me at it.

. . . and this is getting long enough, and I'm running short on time at the moment, so I'll pause and let Charlessa tell her side of it.

Continue: The Story: Friends

The Story: First Introduction

Picking a place to start and keeping a long story short, I completed my M.L.S. in Kansas in May 2000. In August, I moved away from family and home to take the position of Public Services Librarian at Patrick Henry College--a start-up college that was still completing its first building and, in October, would be offering classes for the first time.

Part of my responsibilities were the library website, so I met and worked with the college webmaster very early in my job. As the college moved through the last few weeks of opening, there were many people starting work there--most of them I had to meet as I had need to work with them. So I was a bit surprised when the webmaster actually stopped in my office to introduce to me the new web technician--Jesse. It was literally nothing more than "hi"'s and a brief explanation of how respective work responsibilities related, but because it was a surprise, it stuck with me.

First impressions? Definitely younger than me. Reminded me of a friend from college. (They both have red hair, but different shades; they share similar body builds; both work with computers; both are generally quiet and reserved. End of similarities.) It was going to be good to have another person around that might be interested in some of the group activities that got organized.

Continue: Me and My Memory

Jess-n-less?

Before I make this blog public I had best set the record straight on where the URL for this blog originated and what it means. Originally, I conceived of this blog as just for myself, not a team blog. It was during that time that I came up with the idea of using Jess-n-less

Jess=Jesse=The main subject of the blog. (Who'd a thunk?) ;)
less=Yes, this can be read as a reference to my name (But it is not a valid nickname!), but as an individual blog, I thought of it more as referring to everything else I might end up talking about. And anything else I talked about would, naturally, be of lesser importance.

Thus, Jesse had absolutely no input into the choosing of the URL for this blog. And yes, he registered an objection immediately. However, we haven't come up with anything more appropriate for the URL. Suggestions welcome!

Boyfriend's Gush and Blush

I'm not sure about how much gushing I'll do, though I have to agree with Girlfriend that if I started typing all the stuff I'd like to type about her, my readers would start sending me emails alerting me that someone has hacked my blog and is posting all sorts of stuff that sounds nothing at all like me.

I just haven't wanted to gush about anything before! Now I get to say all sorts of sappy things about how beautiful, lovely, poised, wise, cute, and altogether wonderful Girlfriend is! But, of course, I'm too taciturn to say stuff like that. So I'll probably stick to giving dull and dry updates about aforementioned beautiful, lovely, poised, wise, cute, and altogether wonderful Girlfriend.

;^)

Whose cake?

I didn't notice the coincidence of initials until this week. Honest. :)

Blog Mission

To prevent posts about my boyfriend Jesse from taking over my regular blog, this blog will be a place for me to ramble, gush, and get sappy without annoying, offending, or losing the interest of any of my regular readers.

There, I've made up a stupid first post--it tells you nothing about what you can actually expect and expresses the impossible ideals and egotistical tendencies of the typical personal blogs.